Emotion and Spirit
by Cuban Sombrero Gal
Summary: [Oneshot] Thirteen facts about Regulus Black, from his childhood to his days as a Death Eater [for Avindara Nirvene and Frayed Misfit] Please R&R.


**e m o t i o n & s p i r i t**

_For Avindara Nirvene, who is the most flattering of friends, and for Frayed Misfit, a self-admitted Reguluslut xD_

**i. **When Regulus was five, Sirius convinced him that it would be a good idea to mattress surf down the main staircase. Regulus saw the slightly insane, malicious glint that flickered in his brother's pearly grey eyes, but he ignored it, because, in his young, naïve mind, Sirius was definitely not the vindictive type.

Of course, Regulus got into trouble, even though he claimed that it was all Sirius' fault, which it was, he thought, it was Sirius' idea. It took him hours to figure out why.

**ii. **Narcissa was always his favourite cousin, because Bellatrix was too unpredictable, too malevolent, too unhinged, and Andromeda was too rebellious, too different, too irrational in love. Their younger sister was just like Regulus, trapped between salvation and desire. Like him, life confused her, and she trapped her emotions behind a stiff, unwavering façade, something he'd always struggled with.

**iii. **The Sorting Hat took a long time to ponder him, something the entire school seemed to find disconcerting. Regulus told it (was a hat a he or a she anyway?) that wanted to be a Hufflepuff, because living without expectations could be fun, especially as it would be easy to defy them. He didn't actually believe that, because he was just meek little Regulus Black, and as soon as he said it, the hat automatically shouted "SLYTHERIN."

**iv. **Slytherin wasn't so bad, he'd always known he'd be there anyway, because really, it's wasn't like he got a choice. The only disappointing thing about the green and the sliver were his cousins, Andromeda constantly wrote letters warning him about the 'evil' connotations of Slytherin house, and Narcissa's friends seemed to coo over him simply because he was cute.

**v. **Sirius, on the other hand, completely ignored him, something which he found both satisfying and disturbing. While he was pleased not to be berated for taking the 'brave' route and defying his family like Sirius always encouraged, they were brothers, just older, taller versions of the two boys who had slid down the stairs that day, laughing and giggling and slapping each other's palms.

**vi. **Regulus hated potions, yet the potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, seemed to dote upon him, despite his average ability. He later discovered that this was because he was a Pureblood, from a respectable family, and yet when he accidentally let slip the question that had been plaguing him, that why was Sirius not invited when Sirius was good at potions, better than Regulus because Sirius was better at everything, and he was a Pureblood too.

Slughorn never invited him to another Christmas party after that. He didn't miss them much.

**vii. **He loved flying though, because of all his family, he was the only one who was any good at. This way his way of being different, of standing out from the crowd without really standing out from the crowd, of rebelling without being a rebel. Regulus adored the fact that flying gave him a sense of freedom, and yet he did not have to defy anyone to get it. Everyone was happy.

**viii. **Regulus supposed that was why he knocked James Potter off his broom in the Gryffindor vs. Quidditch final in his third year. And why he never hit back when Sirius swung a fist at him afterwards, just ducked, leaving his brother to smash the wall, and ran.

**ix. **Sirius never apologised. And yet Regulus could never hate him for it.

**x. **Christmas Day was possibly the worst day of the year. Regulus' fellow Slytherins laughed like crazy at that, because Regulus was adored by his parents and got all the presents he could dream of. But to Regulus, Christmas dinner was torture in the form of Sirius' snide remarks, Narcissa's drooling over boys and her newly betrothed and Bella's talk of looming wars. Andromeda wasn't there, and that left Regulus to be the good boy, the apple of his parents' eyes.

The fact that he couldn't stand up for himself, couldn't say "Screw you," and storm out, that was what tortured him the most.

**xi. **Afterwards, Regulus tried to rationalise it in his mind. Of course he was a good boy, what else would he ever be? He was designed to be the boy his parents were proud of, the one they loved and adored. He didn't want to be outcast like Sirius. The reason he didn't stand up for himself was because he didn't want to, not because he couldn't.

He repeated that mantra to himself the day Bellatrix asked him to join the Death Eaters. Saying yes couldn't cost him anything.

**xii. **Regulus' first Death Eater mission involved about one hundred different curses and eighteen dead bodies oozing blood on the ground, all members of the Order of the Phoenix. He couldn't help but stare at them, both fascinated and repulsed, not sickened by the blood, but by their grins, they'd died laughing, and even in death they showed more emotion and spirit than him.

**xiii. **Their faces shone vividly in his mind the day Kreacher told him about the cave. Not only did he do it for Sirius, for himself, but he did it for them. They were a reminder of what he truly wanted. He could stand up for himself, he'd been able to all this time, and finally, he would.

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I really hope you enjoyed this, Regulus is a new character for me, but definately one I adore, and if you've got any suggestions on how I can characterise him better, or you just want to say "well done," please leave a review.

Much love,

Cuba xD


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